I have exactly another 2 days to enjoy my semester breaks! Class will be start on monday, to be true, I'm not ready yet to go back to the college T_T. So I'm still working... I'm not ready yet to say goodbye, because I wanna see my crush before I leave that hotel! TEEHEE! :P

THINGS TO DO BEFORE 21

So here it goes,


1. SMOKING THE CIGGARATE
2. GETTING MY HAIR COLOURED
3. SINGING &PLAYING GUITAR IN PUBLIC
4. GOING TO FAV PLACES BY A TRAIN
5. ROADTRIP
6. TATOO (INAI :PP)
7. 
8.
9.
10.

Dear someone,

I think I'm starting to like you.. I can't be around you, it drives me crazy.

And I have exactly 10 more days before I start my college life again. 

And it will be different.. By that time, I will forget you & my feelings will be changed.

I always afraid of falling in love. Whenever I feels like falling, I will try to stop my heart from growing &

I will step on my feet at the ground and take control of my mind. Be realistic. I don't wanna be fool by love, by a man and losing my insanity to this love sick things.

Hey shawty, Aznizam Baharum HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY. I always pray for your happiness. 

I'm just wishing you and try to be nice to you. Nothing more. Please expect less.. I can see that you're still hoping that maybe we could be together back. But to be honest, I can't see any ways for us to be together again. You're kind and everything. You never stop loving me since the first day we met, in 2008. But I don't love you, no matter how hard I tried. It will never be the same. We're not kid anymore. I hope you can understand.

But I will never forget you.

youth 2012

Love required - COMMUNICATIONS. GIVE AND TAKE. SHARING. COMMITMENTS. & TIME.

Which........... I'm not ready for this, yet

According to my statistics, it shows that,
"IF A MAN IS JOKING, SAID THAT HE LIKES YOU, MORE THAN 10 TIMES.
HE IS NOT JOKING, BELIEVE ME. OBVIOUSLY"
 TRUST ME :)


Basically I met several guys that admit they like me, in a joking kind of way.
I don't take it serious, but personally I can feel the kind of feelings that I doesn't suppose to feel.
I can feel if the feelings is change into something different.


HEY, I KNOW YOU LIKE ME. SO HI HAHA

The funny thing about falling in love,
Is that when Cupid shoots you 
You can’t choose who will you gonna fall in love with. -TristanWilds

Thinking about the time when "I'm in love" before, I wonder...

IS IT ME FALLING IN LOVE OR IS IT ME FEELING STUPID??

I ONCE THINK ABOUT
QUITTING MY STUDY TO FIND A JOB AND MAKE A LOT OF MONEY.
SO I CAN GIVE SOMETHING FOR MY MOM AND ADIK ADIK.
I WANT TO FIX THINGS. I WANT TO GIVE THEM HAPPINESS WHICH
IS I CAN'T BUY OR FIND IT AT ANYWHERE.


IF THE MONEY IS THE PROBLEM, I RATHER QUIT MY STUDY
JUST NOT TO BE A BURDEN THEM.


BUT MORE DEEPER I THINK ABOUT IT,
IT MADE ME REALISE THAT, IT'S BETTER THAT I BE A SUCCESSFUL WOMAN
AND GET A REAL JOB WITH MY DIPLOMA AND MADE THEM PROUD
INSTEAD OF GIVING THEM EVERYTHING THAT MEANS NOTHING.
IF I CAN BE PATIENCE, SURE IT WILL RESULT SOMETHING GOOD
AND MORE MEANINGFULL.


I DON'T KNOW WHAT I THINK.. BUT I JUST WANT TO MAKE THEM HAPPY
IF ONLY I COULD..

4AM
LAYING ON BED

HEARING SOUNDS OF THE POURING RAINS FROM OUTSIDE THE WINDOWS

FEELS THE COLD WINDS TOUCHING YOUR FEETS

SURROUNDED BY FAVORITE PILLOWS

WHILE LISTENING TO FAVORITE SONGS..

EVERYTHING FEELS GOOD.

The story of me having a crush...

This is the story of me having a crush.
I was in high school, and I was 16. I have a big crush with this one boy.
Which is he is my senior. I'm just a girl that he would never notice.
 I didn't put my hope too high.
One day..He accidentally ask me out on a date.
 I was like so super-excited andtelling everyone about it.
 I can't sleep thinking about what I'm gonna wear, and really wants
that date will be perfect with every single aspect. 
And I was a lil NERVOUS + SCARED
about what might he thinks about me...
But... On that day of our day, it turns out into nothing.
I was so stupid and suddenly text him last minutes telling him, that I can't make it..
IT'S BECAUSE I WAS TOO SCAREDDD TOOO SCARED.
Because I never had a date before. It was totally sucks. 
And I swear I regret it until now..
After that day, we didn't talks or text or whatever..
Everything went so bad..


So after realizing about how stupid I am for letting go 
what I really want when I get it, and end up feeling so stupid, I stand up for myself and never wasted every chance that comes.I would never let my feelings take control on me, never again..

THERAPY?

Right now.. Whenever I feel fucked up, mad and stressed, I just need a therapy. What kind of therapy was it?? Haha. As an average girl, and a student like me, the only therapy that I can get and only works for me is: Human nature and music.

Again.. I bet you probably can guess it right now haha. 

Human nature? I love watching the sunrise in the morning, and sunset in the evening. It's kind a good therapy for me, even it's only takes about less than 10 seconds to look at the sun is up or down. But it really WORTH I TELL YAA. A good place to watch a sunrise that I ever been is, at around bangi lama I don't even know the actual name for that place, but the place is really amaze me & at one of the bridge at Putrajaya. Sumpah lawa!

And for the sunset, you can take a lovely view from PICC Putrajaya, at the top of the building (Y)

This is not cost you any cents except for the gas he he he.

And.... I'm not finished yet with my "human nature therapy" ehem. Besides a good view in the morning and evening, at night I TELL YAA you/me/us still can get a lovely view at the top of the Puchong hills. God.. You can see the whole of Puchong at up there, seriously. 

I still remember, last time I go there is on "Flying Latern" festival after accompany Nelly go to her MENTOR audition. We accidentally go to Puchong hills, without noticing that that day was a flying latern day haha. So from up there we see the beautiful view PLUS WITH THE FIREWORKS EVRYWHERE PLUS WITH THE FLYING LATTERN THAT FLYING IN THE SKY. SO BEAUTIFUL =') I CAN'T FORGET THAT DAY

"Friendzone"

You play the guitar, and we sing together. 

Just like the old times but in different kind of version you & me. I don't even know what I mean by that, screw me. I've been thinking about anything that could happen between us. Maybe we could happen again..

You're the perfect guy I've ever met in my life. I swear. 

You know what is bothering me? We are in the "FRIEND ZONE" right now.. I don't know how to describe our relationships right now, whether we are just friends.. 

Or maybe I would describe you as my "almost lover". We've been together before, it's kinda yah no almost lover whatever. 

The one that never gone away. I believe in faith. If we are meant to be together, we will be together.. Insyallah.

But right now I'm not thinking about to go more far, we better off this way.

WANNA KNOW WHAT LOVE FEELS LIKE? LISTEN TO THIS...

HI. TODAY, I DONATE MY BLOOD TO PUSAT DARAH NEGARA.


So I was walking around my college this morning, and saw a poster about this "derma darah" stuff. So Berry and I thought it was a good idea for us to donate some blood for anyone that needs it. So we fill up the form and everything.


Antara syarat penting untuk menderma darah ialah:


1. Anda sihat pada hari ini
2. Anda berumur 18 tahun ke atas
3. Tidur melibihi 5 jam


After fill up the form, we've been asking to check our type of blood before proceed to the next step. I never knew that my blood is so expensive, the 'O' type. I was a lil bit surprise and berlagak hehe. But.. Berry didn't pass the blood pressure test to donate her blood. So it's just me. This is actually the first time for me.. So I was a lil bit excited. The experience was good :) The nurses are cute! And we got free drinks, foods, sijil, a gift from KPTM and bla bla.

SAID, IF ONE DAY... I'M READY FOR A COMMITMENT...

I know this time will come one day in future. Eventhough my heart right now have zero-commitments in a realationship. And I don't feels like I wanna be in a relationship. At all. I appericiate what I have right now, I don't need a boyfriend to complete my life. I guess what I'm looking for now is.... a husband. And I'm focusing w my future right now, well goodluck w that.

"Start looking for guys with goals, ambition, and an education. Because twenty years from now, SWAG isn't going to pay the bills"

SAID, IF ONE DAY... I'M READY FOR A COMMITMENT...


I want that man to promise me that, whatever it is.. after we be together, Don't ever let me be your first priority. Put your mother and your sisters first, and then me...


#nowplaying The Fray - Look after you. While blogging this :)


A little message for my dear future boyfriend,
Hii. I don't want anything much.. but if you really love me and you know that you can make me happy and take care of me, then.. be with me and marry me. I swear I'll try to make you happy :) I''m not asking for a big things.. I don't mind living a simple life as long as it can makes us happy. I really wanna grow old with someone that can love me, understand me. And I don't want to repeat this family mistakes. Insyallah...

HELLO I'M SICK........ :(


I'm having a bad flu and fever. I try to fight w this bullshit... I did take the medicine. Hope I'll be fine tomorrow. I don't wanna skip my class, plus I have IT quiz tomorrow.


So I watched the Vanila Cokelat, some tele-movie that been showing on Tv3. And I LOVEEE IT TEEHEE =D They're so sweet. But I just a movie, I shouldn't be so obsess w that. I'm glad that Berry, one of my girlfriend (the best) tell us that she is ready for a serious relationship.. I mean she is ready to step foward, she wants to engage w Zeiry. Oh my god, I was totally surprised. And I'm happy for you :') Goodluck you guys! Ingat I ni pengapit korang tauuu! Hehe


So........ Fara is (one of my girfriend too). So I guess, we are single aite? And yeaa Nelly too. My single ladies <3 Hope to spend more time w you guys...

UNTUKMU

14th of February

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YUHANA GHAUS <3 which is equal to Valentines day.

Have a blast sweetie, I love you and I really miss you.

For those who's celebrating Valentines day. Fuck yaa. Why have to wait for that one special day to celebrate love? I mean, love happens everyday and growing everywhere. This is not a nightmare for a single people like me.. That's bullshit. Enough w this stuffy.


There's a lot if things that's happening this lately... There's certain thing that I can't tell yaa. And I have no idea how to tell it. Ahah.


So, I just came back from Bentung, Pahang on sunday. Visitting Sofea's father grave and settle up a lil stuff. This is not the first time I'm going back to my friends village.. That's cool. And some of it are totally not cool, well I'm not going to let that not cool stuff ruining this blog. Well, I at the back seat with He. We fall asleep while on our way back to Kajang, because we're so effing tired. He lay his head at me and grab my finger.
And you know what, in half-awaken I realize that I still get those mini heart attack when I'm with him. Those mini heart attacked that I use to feel 3 years ago..........


To be true, maybe this is it..

BIRDY - SKINNY LOVE